March 06, 2012

Over and Over Again

 Life feels monotonous.  School, eat, sleep, teach English.  Repeat.  Get through the day.  Don't forget to reply to that email and finish that chapter of Chemistry.  Do your school, please be quiet, chew with your mouth closed, go play.  Constantly, I'm asking people to do things, trying to show them (them being The Four) how to be Americans.  After I'm done with that, I worry about my time.  "I should be doing things and going places that help me to grow," I think.  Or I wonder how they find time to do all these things, while I sit at home.  (And really, who is "they" anyway?)  They travel, they hang out every weekend, they have time to practice their photography every day.
It was this past weekend that helped me to see what I was doing wrong.  Why can't I be thankful for this life I'm living?  I set a goal at the beginning of this 2012 year to live thankfully.  And I haven't.  I've gotten caught in a wheel of life and I can't stop it from rolling.  And maybe we can't.  Maybe we're not supposed to, because if it stops we'll never be the same.  Perhaps God gives us hard times so we come to appreciate the things we normally don't notice as we go through our days.  Here are some of mine:

+ holding a sleepy, sweaty Ethiopian princess when she awakes in the middle of the night
+ those conversations that might be awkward but bring you closer together
+ the way they try so hard to speak English
+ re-reading the Hunger games in preparation for the movie (only 18 more days!)
+ when our singing actually sounds reasonably good
+ watching the sun set as I type
+ understanding Algebra II (that could quite possibly be a first...)
+ sitting in my closet & writing a blog post while my baby sisters sleep
+ laughing hard as our faces turn red in class

I'm realizing more and more that my life is not going to be the same as other people's.  Seems basic, but it's so hard to grasp.  This is the life I've been placed in, not my friend's, not that blogger, not this celebrity's.  So, wheel, you can keep rolling.  I'll keep moving, but that doesn't mean I'll stop appreciating the people around me and the life I have been given.

p.s. Guestposted over here the other day about self-portraits!

14 comments:

  1. i understand algebra ii too! cupcake party! love those photos :))
    -jocee <3

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  2. beautiful. simply beautiful. thanks for the post darling. ;)

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  3. i needed this post.
    thanks gorgeous friend.

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  4. thanks for the inspiration....I can relate to just about everything here! <3

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  5. Olivia, this is beautiful. thank you for writing what's on your heart, lady! You bless me!

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  6. Sounds like despite the challenges that are facing you all, you are handling everything well. My days are much like this. Sometimes I feel like such a mom! By the way, 17moredaysshhhhhh....

    xoxo,
    Jessica @ Diary of a Beautiful Soul

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  7. "Perhaps God gives us hard times so we come to appreciate the things we normally don't notice as we go through our days."

    He most certainly does.

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  8. I feel that way sometimes too. Also, I thought I was possibly the only person bothering to re-read the Hunger Games before the movie comes out! Glad to know I'm not alone. ;)

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  9. Olivia, this post really encouraged me. I've been wondering the same things and contemplating the same things lately. It's just nice to know that there's girl out there who's going through the same things.

    Thanks again for being real and for being an encouragement!

    ((hugs!))

    ~Madi

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  10. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! A good reminder to enjoy our lives as they are and not yearn for something more.

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  11. hmmm. sounds like amazing life training. and if you think the questions change or go away over the years? nope. they just take on a new depth with age.
    you're coming along just fine, olivia, God says with a smile :-) learning, growing, changing. . . becoming just the young woman I've intended you to be.
    revel in who you are this day. the WHO YOU ARE that He created you to be. you are wonderful. just the way you are. just because you are you.
    isn't that a beautiful thing?
    love you.

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  12. You are such an amazing person, Olivia! Your heart-to-heart posts always make me more grateful for all God's given me.

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  13. Amen!
    Love you!
    p.s.
    I'm home!!!

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  14. Olivia - I so enjoy reading your blog and seeing your heart and soul in your words. I love seeing your photography talent blossom as well. Would LOVE to have you join us in Ethiopia again and I can think of someone else who would love to see you again too (Emme). Hugs - Karen

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